Alcohol Jokes

[Steve Gyldenvand]

For us, Rob, and anyone else who knows the struggle of the weight control journey.

Sláinte!

 

[Thagomizer]

Another Bear Story

A group of tourists at a (USA) national park was listening to a brief from a park ranger.

“Welcome to our scenic national park.  We hope you have a pleasant hike through the woods and enjoy communing with nature.”

“I am here to present you with some safety advice.  You have been given packets containing a can of pepper spray and a bag of small “jingle” bells that you should pin to your clothing.”

“You need to be aware that there are bears in the wooded areas you are planning to visit.  The black bears are smaller and will usually try to avoid you; hence the tiny bells that will announce your presence to them.  There are also larger brown bears which may be more aggressive, so have your pepper spray ready.”

“It is important to be aware of your surroundings.  One way to do this is to examine the scat left by the bears.  The scat of the smaller black bears will contain small animal bones and bits of fur from the rodents and other small prey that makes up their diet.”

One of the visitors asked, “What should we expect to find in the scat if they were brown bears?”

The park ranger replied, “Small animal bones, bits of fur, little bells and a redolence of pepper spray.”

[Thagomizer]

A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a............beer." The bartender responds, "what's with the big pause?"

The bear holds up his arms and says, "always had 'em."

[Rob Courtney]