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Rob Courtney

Alcohol Jokes

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Yeah, who knows where to put  it but here it will be, beer and Alcohol jokes. I will start...

 

A son says to his dad " hey dad, what is an alcoholic"

The dad puts his arm around his son and says "well son, you see those four trees over there, an alcoholic would see eight trees"

And the son says "but dad, there are only two trees there"

 

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I was in a bar yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really loud, so I timed my farts with the beats. After a couple songs I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me...

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod
Edited by Darran Haynes
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A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says, ”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink.” The guy swears and walks out of the bar.

Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says, ”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!”

Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man… ”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!”  The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, “My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”

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My girlfriend told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities.

 

 I thought, That's great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.

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Tell a woman she is beautiful a thousand times and she'll never remember

Tell her she's fat once and she'll never forget

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's because Elephants never forget

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